“You’ll tell me if I become a pain in the ass, right?” That’s what Adrian said to me this morning after coming into my studio to tell me he felt so sleepy he didn’t know what to do with himself. “Go to bed and take a nap,” I suggested. “And yes, I’ll try to tell you BEFORE I become aggravated.” The problem is, I usually don’t communicate very assertively with Adrian. I wait until my irritation at being interrupted is so strong that I can’t stand it, and then I lash out at him. This is NOT effective. Of course, the first step in knowing how to communicate what I’m feeling is TO KNOW WHAT I’M FEELING. That’s where the meditative pause comes into play. I need to stop, take a breath or two, and observe what’s going on. Assertive communication is about asking directly for what you want and need. Otherwise you’re asking the other person to read your mind. How on earth is Adrian supposed to know when it’s OK to come into my art studio to ask for something, and when it’s not? I wrote a book on assertiveness many years ago, precisely because I needed to learn how to use it. Guess I need to reread that book. As a caregiver , how assertively do you communicate with your loved one?

Original Source of Assertive Communication Most Important in Caregiving