I am far from the perfect caregiver : I lose patience. I get irritated at small things Adrian does wrong. I try to “escape” through over-working, over-drinking, over-eating. And then I come down hard on myself with severe judgment. That’s why I’m reading Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach . I’m trying to learn to accept my imperfections as a wife, a caregiver , an artist , a mother, sister, and friend. Whew, I am lousy at all of them! I dedicate myself to Adrian’s care, denying my own needs and feelings, until I explode with irritation, anger, and resentment. Not good for either of us. I am trying a new way: “There is something wonderfully bold and liberating about saying yes to our entire imperfect and messy life. With even a glimmer of that possibility, joy rushes in (p. 86, Brach ).” Imagine saying “yes” to who I am as a caregiver, without trying to remake myself into someone different, someone better. Imagine smiling at my foibles instead of giving myself a harsh reprimand. I am smiling now just thinking about it.

Original Source of "Radical Acceptance" of Our Imperfect Caregiving